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Doucheworm Attacks!

from Bacon by Bonecage

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lyrics

One day I was sleeping outside
When a little worm crawled in my ear
And latched onto my frontal cortex
And paralyzed my mind
Then I started doing real douche things
Like calling everybody chief
And wearing too much Axe Effect
And taking off my shirt
But it’s not my fault the worm controls me
It’s an attack
Attack of the doucheworm
Somewhere deep inside my brain and I’ll never be the same
I got attacked
Attacked by the doucheworm
I don’t wanna be this way
Someone help me find a way
To unpop all my collars once again
Now my closet’s filled with only skinny jeans and Affliction tees
And I started going to Zoomba class and watching Jersey Shore
And I put a spoiler on my car even though my car’s a giant piece of shit
The worm told me that chicks dig spoilers and I must obey the worm
My hair’s all slick this worm’s a dick
It’s an attack
Attack of the doucheworm
Somewhere deep inside my brain and I’ll never be the same
I got attacked
Attacked by the doucheworm
I don’t wanna be this way
Someone help me find a way
To unpop all my collars once again
When I’m walkin down the street
I wanna stop and tell all the people I meet
Im sorry for the way I strut it and make em all look bad
Cause my junk is freshly manscaped in the shape of a heart
Don’t act like you’re not impressed
I got tickets for you (tickets for what)
To the guns show and you’re a VIP
Let me introduce you to my worm It’s an attack
Attack of the doucheworm
Somewhere deep inside my brain and I’ll never be the same
I got attacked
Attacked by the doucheworm
I don’t wanna be this way
Someone help me find a way
To unpop all my collars once again

credits

from Bacon, released November 24, 2012

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Bonecage Austin, Texas

The man, the myth, the legend... I write songs about my grandma, homemade vaginas and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Weird Al Yankovic, Jonathan Coulton, Tenacious D... probably all better than me BUT, if you like that style, you might just love me.

My songs encompasses a range of genres from Pop-Punk to Motown to Adult Contemporary. A little something for everyone, and it's all ridiculous.
... more

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