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Makeshift Vagina

from Fish Food by Bonecage

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lyrics

Living as a teenage boy is lame
Hormones raging every single day
And the girls everywhere always whipping their hair
And smelling good and toying with my heart
The only thing I think about is sex
It's turning me all stupid and obsessed
And I failed science class and I'm shitty at math
But I'm McGyver when it comes to beating off

And I've got a makeshift vagina cause I'm
15 and lonely and the only willing partner I can find
Is a latex rubber glove stuffed inside a rolled up sock
Wedged underneath the mattress of my bed

Penis you're a blessing and a curse
I'll need you if I ever find a girl
But you're also a pain cause you try to escape
And put yourself in every hole on Earth
God I really need a girl to hold
Tired of boning toilet paper rolls
But the goal seems to be an impossible dream
Until achieved I guess I'll have to live

With my makeshift vagina cause I'm
15 and lonely and the only willing partner I can find
Is an unwashed purple thong and a picture of your mom
Stapled to a rotten piece of fruit

And I've got a makeshift vagina cause I'm
15 and lonely and the only willing partner I can find
Is my cold and tingly hand that I choke with a rubber band
It helps me to pretend
Makeshift vagina

credits

from Fish Food, released April 1, 2014

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about

Bonecage Austin, Texas

The man, the myth, the legend... I write songs about my grandma, homemade vaginas and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Weird Al Yankovic, Jonathan Coulton, Tenacious D... probably all better than me BUT, if you like that style, you might just love me.

My songs encompasses a range of genres from Pop-Punk to Motown to Adult Contemporary. A little something for everyone, and it's all ridiculous.
... more

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